sibling rivalries

I am so glad that I was able to come home for my mom's 50th birthday this weekend, but more about that later. It is always good to spend time with my siblings. However, sometimes it is hard for me to relate to them as they struggle with the frustrations of living with each other. They are constantly fighting, making snide remarks, or arguing. They have no patience with each other and show no grace to each other. It breaks my heart.
I guess it is so hard for me to see them act like this because I remember when I acted the same way with Rachael. After the accident I had a whole new perspective on what was important (not that I am perfect in my interactions with others now) and I just want them to enjoy being with each other. I know their behaviors are a normal part of growing up but I HATE it. I've tried communicating this to them but they don't seem to listen.