Yesterday was one of those days where everything seems to build up to the point where you have 2 choices. 1) you can have a meltdown and become depressed or 2) you hand it all over to God and say "your will be done". Being the broken sinner that I am, I opted for choice #1. It felt like the world was against me and I could do nothing right; I was drowning and nothing could save me. Sometimes it is good to have a little cry but I dwelled on everything that was wrong and on things that I could not change. My advisor is moody and it is a rare occasion that she is in a good mood, thus making my life miserable; I can't fix a broken relationship; I am trying so hard to make a difference and there are so many obstacles holding me back. Why can't life be easy?! My thought was, "God, I am trying to do good and show your love...help me out here!". I felt like I had a right to get the easy path out.
Today, God has pushed me to the point of having no other choice than to hand it over to him. It is amazing the peace he has given me. I was reading from My Utmost for His Highest for July 22. The topic for the day is Sanctification. Some of the verses they reference are the following:
Matthew 10:34 (NIV)
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."
Luke 14:26 (NIV)
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple"
1 Corinthians 1:27-30 (NIV)
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption."
I read the first 2 verses and I was like, you've got me there God. I am miserable and can't see the purpose in all of this. Now what? Then I got to the 3rd verse...duh...it is in my weaknesses that he is made strong. I need to hand it over to him because I can't do it on my own. I know all these things but why is it so easy to forget and so hard to do? He has freed me from myself and my works! I am His and can rest in Christ and his holiness! Thank you God for reminding me of your glory and power.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Its ok that I'm not ok
Posted by Laura C. at 8:42 AM
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2 comments:
Did you read G's quote on his blog?
I feel The Curse When,
I need to succeed, perform well, avoid failure, avoid a bad decision. I feel pressure. I'm intense, hurried. It's a horrible bondage to need to succeed. Failure is OVERrated as a problem, and succeeding is OVERrated as a blessing. Because. An addiction to succeeding is like any other addiction: you need more. The enemy couldn't be more pleased to have us Christians indifferent to the success/righteousness/performance of Jesus that's imputed to us, while we obsess over some of our own, by puny human power, in partnership with me, myself and I, thereby impotent at loving the nonChristians around us as they need to be loved.
Dave McCarty
I hit me pretty good today.
thank you for your honesty. i can't even express how much your words have encouraged me today. i know how you feel, and i thank you for the reminder that in our weakness He is made strong. i love you much.
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